So opinions are running the gamut from OMGZ GREAT to OMGZ YAY and y'all already know where I stand (YAY!!!!!), but let's take a minute to discover why.

Introducing, the StickyKeys Live Blog
f. FANT ASIA on IDOL 5/14/08



:16 - Kool-aid hair and fire engine red nails compel us to get up and shake our groove thangs. Fantasia has even commissioned ghetto booty dancers to show us how she gets down.

:59 - Does Fantasia have rickets? No my dears, this is simply Fantasia being Fantasia. She will have several other medical scares, but one thing to remember is Fantasia has a code word that will let us know whether she's truly okay. That word? YEAAAAAAH!! Watch closely for it.

1:07 - This is a family show, but.. Get it Girl!.

1:09 - Top Three: *silly hood chick* Syesha: *I'm glad they voted before she came on* Sticky: "Shut up imagined Syesha thoughts! You betta stand by your pick!"

1:18 - Fantasia can't do none of them fancy dances, but has discovered if you get a bunch of people to do club dances at the same time it looks professional and fun. Good job!

1:45 - SOMEONE GET AN AMBULANCE!!!

1:47 - Okay, wait... did she change the safe word? Umm.. she seems to be doing okay.

2:01 - Rico... sigh. I'm glad Tasia loves her family, and I'm glad the soundman doesn't seem to care. Bleep Bloop.

2:08 - Fantasia gives something for the seniors by showcasing her perfect butterfly stroke. She really is extremely versatile.

2:33 - Look mom! If I clap on EVERY beat I'm technically right! Fantasia you are AMAZING! Whoo 1-2-3-4! 1-2-3-4!

2:58 - The look heard round the world.

The following are a list of thoughts going through Simon's head:

1. "I know the crowd is excited, but she had an actual literal fit up there. Should I be calling an ambulance? She did say her safe word."

2. "Is she having an allergic reaction to the Kool-aid in her hair. Will Paula's epipen work on her? Should I stick her in the neck? What if she becomes rabid?"

3. "What the bloody hell was that?"

4. "And how can I market it?"

This look was good, but not as good as-

3:02 - BIG UPS TO JAYSUS! THANK YOU GOTT! YOU WHAT'S POPPIN G! I LOVE YOU MAYNK!

I think I may have passed out. Utter perfection. The icing on the cherry on top of the whipcream on top of the pie. Nina said she wish she would have brought it down just a notch, but Fantasia is so niche that you bring it down a notch you don't get Fantasia anymore. You get... Stephanie mixed with Alex Anne Drea and Syesha.

3:11 - Simon looks at Randy, who looks at Simon, while Paula wonders where Fantasia's spaceship is, and if she could get a ride to Starbucks. Paula loves Starbucks.

3:41 - NEW ALBUM! WII!

3:46 - "Breath Control!"

I love Fantasia because she's willing to expel every ounce of oxygen in her body and nearly pass out at the end to entertain us.

4:01 - GIVE US A KISS!!

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Fantasia is a niche artist, you either love her or you hate her and that's about it. Nina remarked that she ain't gettin' no new fans so she might as well cater the heck to the ones she has, and that's what she does.

I love her because WYSIWYG and anything less would not be FANTASIA

I love that she's so true to herself that if you try to put her in a box and she fails you have no one to blame but yourself.

I love that when you realize exactly who she is she can blow your mind away.

I love that she's comfortable with the show and with the judges to just go out there and give it her all.

I love that the Season 6 kids listened to her CD while they were on tour.

I love her because she too wants to make out with Ryan Seacrest. Sloppily.

I love her because while she's contempo r&b now, she has the kind of voice that can easily spin into clssic genres and ensure her longevity, and she can do it anytime she wants.

I love her. Simply. Her ghetto hot mess fire that ignites my ears and eyes. Her inability to be anything less than over the top and her rampant desire to never hit bottom.

Syesha tried to claim her, but I'm taking her back! She's MY idol, and I love her.

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I know officially he got TWoP in the divorce, but I had to take a peek:

Next up is Fantasia, singing...wow. You have to be very, very confident to get up and sing a song called "Bore Me." Particularly with Simon Cowell within 5000 yards of you, much less right there in your line of sight. Is this song title a hidden clue from the producers that Archuleta's got this in the bag? Or, wait, are the producers conspiring against him now? Every year it gets harder and harder to keep up. So Fantasia's painted her hair red, and not a single word she sings is decipherable in the slightest, and she borrowed all the beeps and snorts from Beyonce's "Work It Out," and as always it sounds like it must hurt a whole lot to sing like Fantasia, and ultimately? She's totally fantastic. And capital "I" Insane. Did she always know how to dance? This is awesome. Cut to Simon, mouth agape, struggling to comprehend. She has literally knocked Simon's brain clear across the room. He's finished. So am I. Wow.

And then? Just as Ryan's about to send it to commercial, she pretends to make out with Ryan. I vote we just declare Fantastia a Double American Idol and call this season a wash. Who's with me?

Ha! That Joer really gets it sometimes!

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