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  • 09:12 @Mrs1Dimple Dude where was I?! :D Congrats, you look so beautiful! #

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  • 14:13 Tyler Florences is getting fat. Hmm... #
  • 22:16 @Mrs1Dimple ZOMG what'd I miss? The dress is gorg, but who are you marrying? #
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IMDb :: Boards :: Newsies (1992) :: Newsies might be headed to the stage

I have had really good minor celebrity luck on IMDB so I don't doubt this to be true. What also is true? Juanita Page is my bestest friend in the whole wide world and I will be dragging her to this with me. Sorry in advance, know that I love you immeasurably.

Yes Nina, I know I will have to put out, I'm prepared to make that sacrafice.

One day I'll tell of my obsession with Newsies so you'll all understand. Until then, just bask:


Sticky Icky Nuh-uh

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So as many of you know, my name is StickyKeys. Now I know the juxtaposition of those two words can lead even the cleanest mind astray, but honestly the reason for the name isn't the least bit dirty. I was trying to figure out a new name and I kept hitting the shift key out of routine. After five times the computer asked me if I wanted to activate StickyKeys which has got to be the most random thing ever and I was all "Well, I'm random, so sure!" but instead of activating it I chose it for my new name.

Simple story though sometimes I like to have a bit of wink wink fun with it. Well, at least I did, until last night. I struck up a conversation with a guy at this community bbq in Takoma Park on Sunday and we're talking about our online shenanigans and I mention my name and he starts to smile really creepily and said:

"Hey, I bet I know why those keys are sticky." and as I look at him, I'm wondering if he's conjuring up a story about the honey that my landlord harvests, or... well, what it is he's exactly talking about? So I say, "You mean like, door keys?" and he laughs and starts wiggling his fingers and he's all, "Naw girl, you know... the digits." and I realize he's imagining that the "Sticky Keys" are my fingers after I get done routing around in my vagina which begs the question:

Just what do guys think goes on down there?

I mean, I know we say we're made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but that's just metaphor, you know? We're actually made of blood and flesh and different hormones so contrary to popular belife, there's not really a Keebler Elf factory holed up in my uterus baking sugary sweets. It doesn't really get sticky and if it did then I can't imagine why that would be something that you're into. Because stickiness foretells of a lack of water which means at the very least I'm probably extremely dehydrated and don't need to waste spit and sweat trying to get freaky with you.

"Uh hmmm.." I said as I slinked away to go find someone else to talk to. I asked my friend to help me come up with a new name and quickly shut her down after the word "Butterfingers" fell from her mouth. I guess I'll always be Sticky and it will probably always be gross, but at least it's a gross I'm used to so I can't complain.

Until tomorrow!

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I wanted so much regular...

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I treat my confidence like it's a reserve of precious oil. Like I can only access it when I absolutely need some and the rest of the time I can maybe just save it up. I've come to imagine that it doesn't grow, and so I try to hang on to as much as I can so when I need it I'll have it. The problem is that I was so scared to use it when I really did need it, that I had to gorge on it in some hopeless endeavor to right the world again.

It failed because having no confidence and then having lots of confidence is inconsistent and scares people around you.

I had the opportunity to change when I got here. But instead of seeing this as an opportunity to start with a clean slate and rewrite history it became an exercise in desperately trying to not recreate the mistakes of the past. Not fighting so much and instead shutting up and taking it. Which killed me again.

So now here I am in limbo trying to find that coveted middle ground. Where I'm listened to and heard and believe in my ideas and can get others to believe in them to. Despite the fact that I try to tell myself that I don't really have any ideas because I do. I have lots, it's just I don't have the energy for sales, and that's what life is, right? Selling something? Ideas, services, yourself.

I'd like to be a production assistant or a project coordinator. I'd like someone to say "Okay Stacey, we need you to do THIS, and here are the tools to handle THIS" and I would say "Okay, when do you need it by?" and even if they said "Umm... yesterday?" I would do it. I like time-lines and due dates because it gives me parameters within which to act.

I don't like setting them, I like hearing them. Is that metaphor for the people who live on this Earth? People who set deadlines and people that meet them? Is one better than the other? One may afford a bit of control but is that control a fallacy? If you ask me to do something in 3 months, but really you want it done in 3 weeks, then where does the fault lie when I excitedly tell you I got it done in only 2 months and I'm met with disappointment?

Where did we forget how to communicate? Where along the road did it become acceptable to completely decide the future of a person without that person's continual involvement? Why are we so scared of each other that we can't effectively communicate what it is we WANT? What do we WANT?!

I don't know, I'm rambling, but this is what is inside my brain. I try not to let the hurt consume me, but dangit I'm butthurt, and now I'm in a grind and this is the one place where I never thought I would be again and yet here I am.

God is trying to tell me something, eh? I wish He would speak louder. I wish I could see five years into the future. Just five. Am I married? With children? Divorced? In jail? Am I even around? Because at least then I would see if this is all worth it. I don't want much, just to be financially stable, gainfully employed, happy. But when normal seems impossible to obtain what do you aim for? Is this how stars are made? People who are just so sick of being unable to reach mediocrity that they aim for the stars?

Should I do that? I want to write, and I give myself the excuse of not really doing that well enough, but what if I just said "Screw it, I'm a writer!"? Could I make it? Could I do what it takes to find out.

Let's see if I can keep this blog, then go from there.

Whoever still reads this I love you lots. More soon, hopefully a bit more cheery ;).

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  • 11:26 On my way to Six Flags! w00t #

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gg nate/chuck








"Hey, guess what bro, I'm also suddenly gay! Let's do it cause we're totally in love right now."







"Yeah even though we totally boned, don't touch me, okay? Because I was a kid before labor laws existed and also was qualified to work in a saw mill where I saw my boss having a gay orgy. My boss then caught me watching and gave me an all expenses paid trip to rape island. Now I'm just all effed up. I mean I'm totally kidding, that totally didn't happen, but remember it for later, k? And still don't touch me... Also, this may be the past."

-- Sticky's 5 sec review of Vacationland which she thought was Adventureland. Still, it was better than Kristen Stewart, so there's that. Also, it took me like 20 minutes before I realized that I had the wrong movie. Sigh... I have a lot going on y'all.

StickyTweets

barbie

  • 08:09 @adamlambert soooo blessed bb! Enjoyed you immensely last night. Now THAT'S how you put on a show! #

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  • 15:46 @adamlambert can't wait to see you tonight at the 9:30. I've heard it's a great show, I know you'll deliver! #dc #glamnation #

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